It’s strange how my mood can totally change within a 10 minute period. I am incredibly ready to be done and out of here. I know I am going to miss everyone terribly, but I am just way past tired of being here. My mood can go from being perfectly happy and upbeat to an almost debilitating depression in less than 10 minutes. The best part is that a lot of the time something very tiny and insignificant can be what sets off this seemingly random change. I wish I had more control over my emotions sometimes. Most of the time I am content with feeling the emotions strongly.
I really feel like most people don’t feel things the way I do. There is no way that they couldn’t react to things in daily life if they did.
I always have such a strong desire to do something completely spontaneous. The only thing that prevents this spontaneity is my commitments to school and to those I care about. I guess that would be the one benefit to being alone. You would never actually have to worry about upsetting others or having to explain your actions. How amazing would it be to simply wake up one morning and decide you felt like driving to Cali to see the Pacific? The key however is, you just did it. You didn’t wake up, feel it, think it, and then not act. This time you actually did it. That would be utterly amazing.
I will be quite unhappy with my life if I can’t look back at it when I am old and grey and be proud of my actions. If I have doubts and regrets they will forever weigh on my mind. If you asked me I would tell you that I try to live my life with no regrets. In a very sad and dreary reality I am plagued with more regrets than one could possibly imagine. I live such an inhibited life. The thing that has weighed me down my entire life has been my own conscience. I over analyze, I second guess, and I simply do not act how I feel for fear of making others uncomfortable.
I am not oppressed, I am not misfortuned, I am not discriminated against, I am only a slave to my own mind.
Tunes: Norah Jones – Norah Jones – 14 – The Nearness Of You (3:07)
Wandering the Interwebs 